Sports Mount Rushmore

When I was a kid I always wanted to see Mount Rushmore. Washington, Lincoln, Jefferson and Teddy Roosevelt carved into a mountain – sounded REALLY cool. Alas, I’m 51 and have never been; not because I couldn’t have made it happen any number of times, but, you know, South Dakota is a long way from where I live (and that statement is true about every place I’ve ever lived, and I’ve lived in a number of places that are nowhere near each other), and the internet has really nice pictures so…I may never get to see it in person.  I’ll be ok.

Anyway, I love the concept of picking 4 people to celebrate about a particular group, and of course it works for things other than US Presidents.  The Mount Rushmore of stand-up comedians? Eddie Murphy, George Carlin, Jerry Seinfeld and Richard Pryor. Mount Rushmore of Rock Music singers? Freddy Mercury, Paul McCartney, Don Henley and Elvis Presley. Mount Rushmore of TV characters? Omar Little (The Wire), Tony Soprano (the Sopranos), Walter White (Breaking Bad) and Michael Scott (The Office). And for the record, I’ve been informed that the Mount Rushmore of Vampire Diaries characters is Stefan, Damon, Elena and Bonnie. Trust me, she would know. Obviously, it goes without saying that all of those lists are FULLY debatable, and that’s the fun part. 

A few years ago there were a ton of articles written on the internet celebrating seemingly every major sports team’s Mount Rushmore, and I pretty much enjoyed them all – whether you agree with the choices made or not, the arguments are interesting to make and counter. For many sports teams, the choices are fairly simple.  For example…

San Francisco 49ers

Joe Montana, Jerry Rice, Steve Young, Ronnie Lott (Dwight Clark, anyone?)

New York Yankees

Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig, Joe DiMaggio, Mickey Mantle (or Yogi Berra or Derek Jeter, if you prefer. Or Mariano Rivera if you don’t understand the relative unimportance of relief pitching)

Boston Celtics

Bill Russell, Larry Bird, John Havlicek, Paul Pierce (or Bob Cousy or Kevin McHale)

Or, you can do it by city…

Detroit

Ty Cobb, Barry Sanders, Isiah Thomas, Gordie Howe (or Steve Yzerman or even Joe Louis if you want to get a bit creative)

Boston

Ted Williams, Tom Brady, Bobby Orr, Bill Russell (deep bench here, with Larry Bird, Carl Yastrzemski and Ray Bourque ready to sub in)

Los Angeles

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Sandy Koufax, Aaron Donald, Wayne Gretzky (Does Mike Trout qualify? Can I get a ruling here?)

New York

Babe Ruth, Lawrence Taylor, Patrick Ewing, Mark Messier (a million baseball players you could put here, less to work with for basketball and hockey)

Washington DC

Walter Johnson, Sammy Baugh, Alex Ovechkin, Wes Unseld (or Darrell Green, and in a few years, maybe Juan Soto)

Or by sport…

Basketball

Michael Jordan, LeBron James, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Magic Johnson (or Bill Russell, Wilt Chamberlain, Kobe Bryant or Larry Bird)

Football

Jim Brown, Jerry Rice, Tom Brady, Lawrence Taylor (with apologies to Joe Montana, Reggie White, Walter Payton and others)

Baseball

Babe Ruth, Willie Mays, Ted Williams, Hank Aaron (or Walter Johnson or Oscar Charleston…look him up, I’m telling you)

Hockey

Wayne Gretzky, Mario Lemieux, Bobby Orr, Gordie Howe (Maurice Richard and Sid the Kid beg to differ)

Boxing

Muhammad Ali, Joe Louis, Floyd Mayweather, Sugar Ray Robinson (or Rocky Marciano or Jack Dempsey)

Golf

Jack Nicklaus, Tiger Woods, Ben Hogan, Arnold Palmer (or Bobby Jones, Walter Hagen or Tom Watson)

Men’s Tennis

Roger Federer, Pete Sampras, Rod Laver, Bjorn Borg (or Rafael Nadal or Novak Djokovic. Or both, really)

Women’s Tennis

Serena Williams, Martina Navratilova, Chris Evert, Steffi Graf (or Billie Jean King or Suzanne Lenglen, if you like women playing in long flowing dresses. I know I do)

Or you can do it by decade…

1980’s sports stars

Magic Johnson, Joe Montana, Wayne Gretzky, Mike Schmidt (or Mike Tyson, Larry Bird or Martina Navratilova)

2000’s sports stars

Kobe Bryant, Roger Federer, Albert Pujols, Tom Brady (or Serena Williams or Tiger Woods)

1920’s sports stars

Babe Ruth, Red Grange, Jack Dempsey, Bobby Jones (or Bill Tilden or Lou Gehrig)

Or get fancy and do it by decade AND sport…

1960’s baseball stars

Willie Mays, Sandy Koufax, Mickey Mantle, Hank Aaron (or Bob Gibson or Frank Robinson)

1990’s basketball stars

Michael Jordan, Charles Barkley, Hakeem Olajuwon,  Karl Malone (or David Robinson or Scottie Pippen)

1970’s football stars

Walter Payton, Mean Joe Greene, Roger Staubach, Earl Campbell (or Jack Ham or Terry Bradshaw)

Really, the possibilities are endless…

All-Villain (non-murderer division)

Barry Bonds, Ty Cobb, Jack Tatum, Bill Laimbeer (lots of alternates available, from Tonya Harding to John Rocker)

US Olympians

Michael Phelps, Carl Lewis, the 1980 US Hockey Team, Simone Biles (or Mark Spitz or Eric Heiden)

Individual Rivalries

Evert/Navratilova; Ali/Frazier, Bird/Magic, Brady/Manning (or McEnroe/Borg or Russell/Chamberlain)

Best Names

Baskerville Homes, Coco Crisp, Dick Trickle, God Shammgod (or Milton Bradley, World B Free or Ha Ha Clinton-Dix)

What if they hadn’t gotten hurt?

Bill Walton, Bo Jackson, Monica Seles, Tony Conigliaro (longing, wistful sighs for Ralph Sampson and JR Richard too)

Best Rookie Seasons

Gale Sayers (1965), Wilt Chamberlain (1960), Fred Lynn (1975),  Mike Trout (2012) (or Magic Johnson (1980), Ichiro Suzuki (2001) or Lawrence Taylor (1981)

Worst Contracts

Bobby Bonilla, Albert Haynesworth, Alex Rodriguez, JaMarcus Russell (or Chris Davis, Albert Pujols, Pablo Sandoval (Red Sox version) or Allan Houston)

Most Intimidating

Mike Tyson, Bob Gibson, Tiger Woods (in his own way), Dick Butkus (with SINCERE apologies to Lawrence Taylor and Randy Johnson)

Dominance in a Niche Sport

Edwin Moses, Alexander Karelin, Katie Ladecky, Kelly Slater (and let’s not overlook Usain Bolt or Simone Biles)

Greatest Fictional Athletes

Roy Hobbs, Jesus Shuttlesworth, Rocky Balboa, Dottie Hinson (Happy Gilmore and Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez had some game too)

WAY better in highlights than in the Stat Sheet

Nick Kyrgios, Jason Williams (White Chocolate version), Omar Vizquel, Reggie Bush (and don’t miss the reels of Kenny “Sky” Walker and Jose Iglesias)

Taken Too Soon

Thurman Munson, Jose Fernandez, Len Bias, Payne Stewart (and RIP Reggie Lewis, Roberto Clemente and Hank Gathers)

Greatest Baseball Outlier Seasons

Norm Cash (1961), Mark Fidrych (1976), Joe Charboneau (1980), Brady Anderson (1996) (also notable are Fernando Rodney (2012) and John Valentin (1995))

Father Time Don’t Matter

George Blanda, Satchel Paige, George Foreman, Gordie Howe (Nolan Ryan and Julio Franco too)

Most beautiful swings

Will Clark, Fred Couples, Hana Mandlikova, Ken Griffey Jr. (my Dad would save Mickey Mantle and Evonne Goolagong)

Best Looking (Male)

Courtesy of my female sports fan friends… – Derek Jeter, Michael Jordan, David Beckham, Tom Brady (Christiano Ronaldo and even the largely despised Christian Laettner got some love too)

Best Looking (Female)

Anna Kournikova, Alex Morgan, Lindsey Vonn, Natalie Gulbis (Maria Sharapova, Mia Hamm and Danica Patrick aren’t altogether unattractive either)

Greatest Female Athletes Ever

Serena Williams, Mia Hamm, Babe Didrickson Zaharias, Lottie Dodd (or Jackie Joyner Kersee or Wilma Rudolph)

Greatest Male Athletes Ever

Michael Jordan, Muhammad Ali, Babe Ruth, Jim Brown (or Jackie Robinson, Jim Thorpe, Tom Brady, Willie Mays, Michael Phelps, or Wayne Gretzky)

And finally, drum roll please…..

Greatest COVID-Era (so far)

LeBron James, Tom Brady, Naomi Osaka, Patrick Mahomes (hat tips to Mookie Betts and Novak Djokovic as well)